Ever since I was about 10 weeks pregnant I’ve noticed I haven’t been the same. The constant thoughts and emotions that cascade through my brain, the pain that my mind seems to put my body through from day to day. Through my first pregnancy I felt under immense pressure by everyone around me and not only did the decision of having the child effect me but it impacted a lot around me.
Now my girls are my world and I love them to pieces and would not wish upon any star to take them back. I have this daily struggle of trying to be strong for them and raise them as healthy and well as I can, It’s not that I feel like I am incapable but it’s like my mind and my body do different things.
I feel under appreciated and normally that doesn’t bother me. The mothers these days have immense pressure upon their shoulders of having to cook, clean and doing all this housework and are still expected to spend every waking moment with their child whilst the father goes to work and comes back and lounges around. Now back in the day it was normal but women were not allowed to question their man who worked for all the money. Honestly I don’t mind the father or any breadwinner having to come home and take a rest from a hard days work but mothers or even stay at home dads deserve a little ‘me’ time, even if thats just a 5 minute shower by themselves but don’t use the excuse that because you work you’re excused from caring for your child. It grinds my gears when any parent neglects to care for their child and then when the child does well later on in life they say that they raised them well.
The Daily Devil of dealing with anything like Anxiety or Depression doesn’t get better if left in the dark. Think of yourself like a fire, You can be ambitious, happy and feeling alive but once there is no more oxygen for the fire and it gets covers the flame goes out and along with it your sense of self.